I'm trying to get rid of my useless, obsolete, worthless CDs that have very much defined a large art of who I am. These are some.
SERGE GAINSBOURG: NO. 4
I like the early Serge jazz stuff. He sing-talks his way over much more traditional arrangements and it's nice to hear him as a guy working within the prevailing musical environment, not yet fully discovering his voice yet. (see also: David Bowie "Laughing Gnome", the first Sandman graphic novel, the first Kelly Clarkson album, Batman Begins).
BENNY BENASSI: HYPNOTICA
Similar to Ratatat or Air, Benny Benassi has 1 good song that he makes over and over again. "Put Your Hands Up" is amazing, and the MV for "Satisfaction" is mega-boner-giving. I like this CD bc I like that one song.
SECRET FREQUENCY CREW: FOREST OF THE ECHO DOWNS
Michna used to work at Etherea, which was the nerdiest record shop there ever was. That was where nerds would bring their CD collections of nerdy music to, and get nerdily mocked by the nerds behind the counter bc the CDs weren't nerdy enough (and had a tiny unnoticeable scratch on the outer rim and thus had no resale value).
Also, as to the specifics of this CD, I never listened to this. SORRY MICHNA I STILL LOVE YOU (and anyways I listened to the hell out of Magic Monday).
JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE: FUTURESEX/LOVESOUNDS
"It's always good to hear someone pretentiously try to be make this huge artistic statement and have it be problematic, then not to try at all." -Yoda
V/A: THE SEXUAL LIFE OF THE SAVAGES: UNDERGROUND POST-PUNK FROM SAO PAULO, BRASIL
What is it with me? I'll buy anything apparently. Not to say this is bad, it could very easily be good. But it's very en vogue for labels to put out comps whose titles are:
BOLD DECLARATIVE STATEMENT or SENTENCE FRAGMENT or EVOCATIVE PHRASE or NAME OF GENRE or SONG TITLE:
I have said my peace elsewhere re: noted Beastie Boys footnote, Money Mark. He's AZN, son! AZN PRYD!!! I bet he's eating a chicken gyro somewhere with Mario Caldato Jr, Eric Bobo, DJ Hurricane and Luscious Jackson waiting for the phone to ring.
Sean Lennon is also in this fictional room.
This is a mix I made for a friend. That's why I use songs I've put up on other mixes in the past. Also, the Mancini thing was mixed live so it falls out of time.
"Imperfections make it fresha!" -etc
muscles: sweaty (shazam remix)
simian mobile disco: tits & acid
justin martin: get low
depeche mode: master & servant
aphex twin: windowlicker
lowfish: no longer accepting complaints
boy 8-bit: the suspense is killing me
kanye west: power (remix)
henry mancini: experiments in terror
2pac: california love (rusko remix)
solid groove & sinden: overbooked
skatt brothers: walk the night
THIS is what Crystal Castles look like. YIKES. Serge Gainsbourg and Jane Birkin you ain't!
Gah! Look at this hirsute man! Looks like he's wearing a hairsuit, if you knowwhatI'msayin! Hey giant twin caterpillars, good thing you're racing to get to the center of that guy's head! Bet THIS GUY doesn't eat pork, savvy?
And don't get me started on you neither, lady-alien! Christ you have the skull shape of a Na'vi priestess! etc etc
TALL DWARFS - FORK SONGS
I bought this bc of the allmusic review of it, which says it's seminal. SEMINAL! Read this!
The acclaimed duo of Chris Knox and Alec Bathgate's 1980s output on the Flying Nun label was profoundly influential on a generation of lo-fi music. Their influence can be traced in the music of Yo La Tengo, Pavement, Smog, and others working with intimate and primitive songcraft. Legendary home recorders, Fork Songs continues to expand their self-built universe and deepen their songwriting partnership. Fearless assemblages of noisy loops, primitive guitars, and household objects are the instruments favored, and the ease with which they sculpt oblique elements into delicate upbeat songs is stunning. Like the Television Personalities, their low-tech methods prove that great songs will transcend recording methods, and Fork Songs is only another crucial chapter in the book of musical invention that the New Zealand duo wrote.Come on, tell me that doesn't sound awesome. They're basically saying 2 weird best friends recorded an album using weird instruments and important bands like them. I am going to give this another shot bc I sometimes like listening to Jonathan Richman and other man-children banging pots together and singing about whatever they like.
GUNS N ROSES - USE YOUR ILLUSION II
- In high school, Jenny got me this on tape for Xmas one year and I never listened to it.
- My nerdy debate friend Kumar quoted the Axl rant in "Get In The Ring" to me verbatim, much to my delight and shock.
- I still don't know what parts of "Knockin On Heaven's Door" are sung by the guy from Blind Melon.
- "Don't Cry (Alternate Lyrics)" < "Don't Cry (Regs Vers)"
- The song "Estranged" should change its name to "what in God's name is this music video about, seriously, dolphins?"
- "You Could Be Mine" is Eddie Furlong wearing a Public Enemy shirt with Sam from Diff'rent Strokes pumping a boombox (and decidedly not Christian Bale setting up a wire to trick a Terminator while Common hangs around next to him, being all smooth).
SOFT CELL - LIVE
I never listened to this album, I bought it bc I was hoping there'd be some amazing live version on it of a famous song that no one else would ever be up on, a la the Kraftwerk Minimum/Maximum album. Either way, Soft Cell gets a spot in history because of this 12":
SHUGGIE OTIS - INSPIRATION INFORMATION
This is a Pete from TTL record x1000. In terms of music, this is like what I associate with him the strongest. That and his crazy hyena laugh. Shuggie Otis is cool. It's light and pleasant and has that awesome 70s drum machine thing that's on There's A Riot Goin On. Totally springtime apartment cleaning music. Gonna go buy an armchair at CB2, it's so nice.
SERGE GAINSBOURG - AUX ARMES ET CAETERA
I bought this hoping/wishing there'd be an amazing reggae album on it but nope, it's not good. To counteract this, I'm going to put up a bunch of pictures of Serge being awesome.
"My CD collection is useless." -Me
TOMMY GUERRERO "SOUL FOOD TAQUERIA"
Let's get one thing straight. I know nothing about Tommy Guerrero. Is he a skateboarder? I guess I know one thing about him. I also know that I live in a culture that fetishizes and lionizes and everything else-izes skateboarders, even though I hate them. I am an old man! I have nothing against skateboarders per se, it's more like how they are the epitome of the Vice culture of slacker cool anti-bros who breeze through shit and are what scruffy, white, non-jock/nerd teenagers should aspire to. Why do people pay more attention if you skate and do anything other than skate (see also: Jackass, the career of Spike Jonze)? People are like "wow you are so connected to the youth so I guess you have your hand on the pulse." In that regard I guess you could produce more egregious things than a CD of mellow hip-hop loops with faux-funk Beastie Boys noodlings on it. Like, is this all that offensive in the grand scheme of things?
I guess not. It's pretty forgettable though.
BEST SONG: uh... Organism? I have no idea.
MSTRKRFT "THE LOOKS"
LOL @ myself. This album is terrible. Guuuuhhh. MSTRCRP is more like it, you know what I'm saying? Good thing bands like SBTRKT are taking their cues from TRRBLKRFT and you can hear their music on RCRDLBL.com. Right? Christ. Taking out vowels is the equivalent of when you're in high school and start using British spellings of things like "humour" and write in a lowercase "i" instead of "I" when referring to yourself (a la Clowes' Felix character in I Hate You Deeply). Guuuh. Remember the Hipster Grifter? Her internet hash tag should be #HPSTRGRFT.
BEST SONG: Whichever one Cut Copy put on their Fabric mix.
VA - KITSUNE MAISON
Never listened to this one either #duh. But if you read the tracklisting it's like a hype-up list for 2005. Au Revoir Simone, Tom Vek, Digitalism, Lo-Fi Fnk and even Architecture in Helsinki in the house! That VHS or Beta song "Night on Fire" is terrible. Kitsune's cool though, they introduced me to Simian Mobile Disco, the best group in the world.
MADONNA - CONFESSIONS ON A DANCEFLOOR
"Get 'Hung Up' at C.Q.S. (CD Quality, Son), son!" -The logic that justified purchasing this. (Also, "Get Together" is pretty good)
SIMPLE MINDS - NEW GOLD DREAM
I kind of feel bad that Simple Minds did "Don't You Forget About Me" bc now that is their footnote in history. They had a lot of other good songs from the late 70s when they were still doing weird cinematic futuristic Blade Runnery songs. This is my "All Prominent 80s Bands Probably Had An Awesome 70s Punk Phase, Wouldn't You Agree, Spandau Ballet?" theory. However this is not always true, since the first Thompson Twins album is FUCKING TERRIBLE.
Is really good.
Not only do I think of that Norm MacDonald/SNL Weekend Update sketch when I see people dressed like this, I'm also 90% sure that's John Malkovitch in the video.
The new LCD Soundsystem video for "Pow Pow" is out. I'm not too nuts about this song -- when I saw them play in NY supporting 'This is Happening' they opened with this. Then on Free Record Day the LCD record was a one-sided single 12" of also this. WTF? Why not release Dance Yrself Clean -- the best song on the album? GAH.
This video is shot/lit nicely, features Anna Shmendrick from that George Clooney airport movie, and is kind of dumb. Or maybe it's not? I don't know, I was watching it without the volume on. But it seems that the visuals have literally nothing to do with the song. Here then, is
The 21 Gun Salute's review of the new LCD Soundsystem video, as experienced by someone watching it for the first time on mute.
We begin with a shot of an open book, Disney-style, to the following completely nonsensical and and confusing line:
Yikes. Good thing there's stonemasonry imagery in here! Already I'm like 'This Is Happening'... more like WHAT is happening, you know what I'm sayin!
So. Anna Shmendricken's character peruses an artfully laid out grid of accessories. It's sort of Jason Bourne-y, I kind of like it when you get the "These Are The Tools of the Trade" shot. Nice iPhone and contact lens case! But why do you need a highlighter? I guess it will make sense later? (spoiler alert: it does not make sense later)
So Shmanna Hendrix lifts up her hand and, using After Effects' Lightning Arc preset, cuts a hole through the space/time continuum and walks out the door. This ain't no ordinary lady!
She gets into a vintage car (I'm SURE this was shot in LA) and has a bodyguard that is... who exactly?
Who art directed this? Why is that guy a hideous ex-marine mountain man? Is that the WWF's Hillbilly Jim?
Manya Henjmork wanders into a club looking demure. Now is as good a time as any to ask: if this video's "nowness" hinges on the fact that she's in it, do we agree she is an It girl? I'm not really sure? She's attractive and all but I'm not really convinced that making her the centerpiece of this video buys it anything:
For one thing, she seems kind of out of her league, even in a small label dance music video. Weird. It's kind of like when Christian Bale plays Batman -- he doesn't have his face to act with in costume, so he has to over-act with his mouth and voice. Same thing here -- Anna Hoonjforb can't use her voice in the video, so she relies on super obvious physical indexes for being hot and cute. For example, lower-lip biting.
So she sits down next to the most convincingly scary latino actor of all time (Noel Gugliemi). Or maybe it's DJ Muggs. I can't tell.
Point is, he's a masculine serious party guy who should be feared/respected, as evidenced by his idiotic LA hat and girl next to him in a posh bar. Anna's bald assistant Michael Stipe offers DJ Muggs a contract to sign, which he refuses. Anna casts some kind of Egyptian spell on him:
So many candles! What are we, in Stevie Nicks' trailer?
(in trailer VO voice) THE EGYPTIAN SYMBOL FOR SOMETHING!
Next we have bootleg Pharrell sitting at some other posh place. Here is a man to be taken TWICE as seriously, because he has TWICE the number of girls around him and TWICE the amount of candles!
Ancho Henchmobe wanders in with her dangling boobs and gang of bald henchmen like they own the place, and Michael Stipe tries to get Pharrell to sign some kind of document. Pharrell refuses.
His refusal makes Anna so angry that she bites her lower lip again. Yay! The camera adds 10 cuteness! Then she also does the "who, me?" and then casts her Fleetwood Mac spell.
ANOTHER EGYPTIAN SYMBOL FOR SOMETHING. A COMPASS, A "G" AND A RULER, I GUESS!
Cut to bootleg Michael Ironside, sitting in a car waiting angrily for something.
Anna Handjob's gang of idiots show up and negotiate some kind of contract, which is again refused.
Anna, meanwhile, lurks in the background biting her lip, waiting for her opportunity to After Effects this bald clown (so many bald people in this video).
YES! Finally! I had to wait SO LONG before I could stop biting my lower lip and hold my hand up!
THE SYMBOL FOR STONEMASONRY AND ALSO WHO CARES
OK so now it gets "arty." DJ Muggs, bootleg Pharrell, and bootleg Michael Ironside show up in some heavily lit parlor, where they are greeted by various powerful men. There are no candles and women around, so how do we know they are powerful? They are wearing uniforms and business suits, of course.
And also, one of them looks like the greatest fool to ever walk the face of the earth.
Anna, in a desperate attempt to check every item off the Things Girls Do When They Want To Flirt, also plays with her hair.
She wanders out, looking like Celine Dion.
Close up of Angra's face, looking mad? Seductive? Large front two teeth-having? I guess this is the "grown up sexy temptress" shot. She approaches the 3 dudes and there is a flash of white light. This is also where I think the video fails, bc using her as this centerpiece relies on her ability to pull this off, which I do not buy at all.
The next day, Michael Ironside wakes up, looking despondent.
As does Pharrell Williams.
As does the guy from that scary Latino gang scene in Training Day.
Presumably they're soul-less now!
And the last shot is Anyo Hagrid going over her grid of laid-out items, only this time we see brass knuckles? That she hovers over and then moves on from?
The end? WTF is going on? Oh, before I forget, THE END WAS ALSO THE BEGINNING BECAUSE LIFE IS CYCLICAL (see: Runaway). Also this makes no sense whatsoever. It has nothing to do with the song, lyrically. It has nothing to do with the Egyptian hieroglyphics, either. It has nothing to do with anything. It doesn't even make sense. If the guys refuse to sign the contract (presumably one that would sell their souls) why would they still have lost their souls at the end? Is it a commentary on them being soul-less the whole time? Is it a waste of time? The answers are: maybe, and yes.