Ugh! CDs! Too many of you! Get rid of you! I must! -Yoda
TENACIOUS D - S/T
Is this CD funny? Does this CD rock? The answer to both questions is a very qualified yes, depending on how old you are. I would never make anyone my age listen to "They're All Gonna Laugh At You," but if you're 15 you better put on a diaper and have Kleenex ready because you will cry and shit with laughter. Looking at my copy of this CD, there is somehow neither a BMG Music Service nor a Columbia House UPC code on the back, which leads me to believe that I MUST HAVE PAID MONEY FOR THIS? Probably at Tower Records for $18.99? That is ridiculous.
This CD is funny, I guess. "Fuck Her Gently" will forever remain the most popular song on this album, especially because Jack Black goes "ZANZIBAR!" in it. Other than that I have literally no recollection of any other song on this album. Weird things about it: the Dust Brothers produced it. Dave Grohl plays drums on it. Bob Odenkirk wrote one of the songs on it. Other than that I would say that this album kind of pushed Jack Black beyond the pale for me. I like him in High Fidelity and in School of Rock, and everything else has been kind of Blughs.
THE FALL - 50,000 FALL FANS CAN'T BE WRONG
Yes they can be! You know what? If ever I was going to follow my dream of becoming James Murphy, I would force myself to like this and Pylon. Because even a cursory glance at the song listing makes it interesting:
1. "How I Wrote Elastic Man" - was homage'd by Elastica
2. "Hip Priest" was homage'd by LCD
3. There's a cover of "There's A Ghost In My House"! Northern Soul BARNSTORMER! (what they now refer to as "massive choon")
4. Plus it has "Totally Wired" and "Mr Pharmacist" which are the only 2 good Fall songs I know.
So... maybe the Fall are worthwhile? Anyone out there have opinions?
SADE - LOVERS ROCK
Remember when I said that Wilco, Bob Dylan and Springsteen were "too white" for me? Well, Sade ("it's pronounced SHAR-day.") is too black for me. Am I Naymond's mom? Nope. Will I ever have relations to this album? Nope. Why do I have it. I have no idea.
DJ QBERT - WAVE TWISTERS
Haha! There was a year when I was really, REALLY into Wave Twisters. I would "get blunted" (AKA "get bliz-nigh") and watch the VHS of this, which is a funny sentence to write. I would try to get my friends into it too. Wave Twisters is extremely dorky, and like all things related to ISP, only really digestible in 2 minute doses. Sorry, John Carluccio, but Skratch Notation never took off, because it is FUCKING IDIOTIC. I can appreciate self-mythologizing and "let's elevate skratching to an art form" but I never bought it.
Also, try to watch this without getting a seizure. Not to say it is "poorly done" because I think it actually is pretty revolutionary and extremely, unapologetically weird, and SO OBVIOUSLY the result of doing an insane amount of drugs:
AL GREEN -14 GREATEST HITS
I'm listening to this right now. Al Green is so good. I'm gonna keep this CD.
Wither thou goest, Useless CDs feature on The 21 Gun Salute? Thou art here again!
I finally moved apartments. Part of my whole reason for doing Useless CDs was to give each CD a proper send-off before I gave it to iPodmeister.com in exchange for an iPad. During this process, 2 things happened:
1. I realized that I actually still want to keep my CDs, bc I feel like I will still want them at some point down the road, I don't know, to give to my kids or something? It's not rational.
2. I realized that in order to get an iPad for my CDs I would need to give them like 800, and I can only muster like 250. So... yeah.
RIO BAILE FUNK "FAVELA BOOTY BEATS"
I stand by what I wrote before about Baile Funk. It is unlistenable garbage. Then again, you're not really supposed to put it on in the background while you listen to NPR and make old man tea:
Nope, you're only really supposed to listen to it at deafening volumes while you're sweating your face off in a Scion-sponsored rave in Miami. Otherwise it becomes an unbearable listening experience. It's akin to hearing airhorns. Is it fun to hear an airhorn in a live DJ set? Yes. Would you listen to a CD full of airhorns? No. Does likening Baile Funk to unlistenable garbage make me a racist? Yes, but this is not new.
BEST SONG: Popozuda Rock'n'roll
BEST OF THE TOADIES
Ha ha, I have this, and by that I mean, YES I have this. (fist pump) I love the Toadies' first album so much I went to see older, balder Toadies perform it pretty much in its entirety (along with the requisite new songs) 2 years ago. What sticks in my brain is how totally indebted to the Pixies they are. The weird time signatures, gothic/dark/water based/religious lyrical themes, screamy voice/singing voice stuff are all there. And I truly think the Toadies were a cut above the rest of the 90s ilk. Toadies, Elastica, Pulp. Anyone else?
YO LA TENGO "GENIUS + LOVE"
Ask me how many times I listened to this. Ask! The answer is zero. I like how YLT are famous/proud for being the world's oldest, ugliest band of old ugly men and one ugly woman. Not to say that I don't like Yo La Tengo. "Our Way To Fall" is beautiful and touching, as is "Autumn Sweater" and about 100 other songs by them. Anyways, I don't really have anything bad to say about YLT. I like them, given half a chance!
ROD LEE VOL 1: OPERATION START-UP
Yikes. See above re: this shit is no fun to listen to at home, but fun to listen to live? Now that I write it out the answer is still no. Bmore is fucking terrible to listen to live. I like it when you throw it in there in a party set then dip out of it, but to hear Sing Sing drums for 20 minutes is unbearable. The Highs and Mids on those drums are fucking ear-splitting! Bmore house in the house!
DAVID BANNER CERTIFIED
I never listened to this. I got it for free. But David Banner "Like A Pimp" is the best song in creation, as is "Play" if for no other reason than its boner-inducing video. I would have put it on the Top 10 Boner Givingest Music Videos Of All Time, except for the fact that, like all bad porn, you will just begin to get a boner and then look at Banner's hideous grill-faced mug.
"Full stop. Both machines."
Also, David Banner reading the generic "BUSINESS" section of a newspaper = LOL. Move over 50!
Wow I can't believe I found this. Lloyd and I made this in 2003. We were working together at Turntable Lab and he was like "we should make a party CD with no bullshit on it. We should call it The Neverending Party, Part 2, and you'll be DJ Falkor and I'll be DJ Atreyu."
I was like "OK this is a good idea" and we recorded it to 4-track in my apartment over a few days. It's all done from vinyl, no big deal, the mixes are pretty straightforward but I still like this mix a lot. I remember distinctly having to mix everything in the headphones and listening to everything back on the headphones, because I didn't have a monitor, and we had to do a lot of punching in to make them perfect. Every time he heard a good mix Lloyd would pump his fists with his eyes closed and headphones on.
Also, when I put the CD in my iTunes apparently someone out there put the tracklisting up already! Crazy. Now to find the album art (Pete Photoshopped me and Lloyd's face onto the Neverending Story poster).
The Neverending Party, Part 2
You can ask my old roommate to verify, but I had this idea first. I was going to do 2 versions of the Inception trailer, the first one was using the OG trailer's footage and doing my own acapella audio, and the second was using the OG trailer's audio and doing my own video. Either way I never did it, these guys did, and despite sour grapes I think they did an awesome job.