Useless CDs

I'm going to sell all the CDs I never listened to! What are they, you ask?


Ghostly is a pretty good label, and Michna's signed to them, but I never listened to this CD comp at all.

"Just be that way sometimes, I guess." -The guy from the first scene in the Wire
However, things turn around weirdly, because when I went to Amoeba in LA, the Freddy Krueger-sweater-wearing West Coast hipster nerds were playing a bunch of CDs, and they were so good I bought them. One was ELO's Out of the Blue (amazing), and the other was this CD, because of the track "Bernard's Song" by Outputmessage.


What is up with Rod Stewart. File under: I Tried, Lord Knows How I Did Try To Get Into This. Rod Stewart is a tart. This is true. But also you get to that place where you're like "weren't the Small Faces an important band? Isn't Maggie May a must-liker?" Sure... I guess. I mean, "Ooh La La" is awesome, but I like it because it is nostalgia in music form, and also because of Wes Andersen ("Sad but true!" -Metallica). So to sidestep that whole important-to-know-about thing, let me just say that sometimes it's easy, tempting, and time-saving to figure out whether or not you will like artists just by looking how they turned out. In the case of Rod Stewart, it is this:

YUP! Not going to spend the time. Get over into that area over there, next to Elton John. Ironically, my favorite 3 Rod Stewart songs are latter day ones: "Forever Young," "Some Guys Have All The Luck," and "Young Turks." None of which are on this comp, BTW!

Kevin from the Lab once asserted that I would like two brit-pop bands on sheer principle. One was the Stone Roses (nope), and the other was Primal Scream. Stone Roses I should give another chance, because "I Wanna Be Adored" is no question an amazing song. Primal Scream on the other hand always ventured one step too many into the big-beat territory. It was like Stereo MC's or something? Whatever, I never gave it a chance is the point. And bands like this that are WAY dated are hard to get into after the fact. It's not like missing out on the first Violent Femmes album because that is timeless and can be appreciated by any adolescent teenager who wants to get laid.

Nope, anything that is all bright and shiny and WAY 90s'd out sort of cannot be embraced after its time. For example the first, biggest, most Primal Screamiest track, "Movin' On Up." What is this, exactly. It's like a fake "Sympathy For The Devil," plus gospel choir, plus fake Happy Mondays drugged-out non-singing, plus "Praise You" rip-ff ("NO Woody, this isn't like Praise you! Praise You is LIKE THIS!" -a fool). Mmmm unless I'm getting a ride home from track practice in a cooler older guy's car who has a British GF and I'm 15 or something this isn't blowing my skirt up.
BEST SONG: None

This is a comp of early house, mostly on a mellow/vocal side. Joey Negro typically is pretty immaculate in his taste. And there's tons of good stuff on here, but it's just too... soulful? Too black? I don't know. I'm a racist, I guess. I like my house either super over-the-top fist-pumping, or mega 80s warehouse in Chicago Trax-y. Late night tracks like "Luv Dancin" are pretty untouchable, but usually I like my house assy, not classy.

Nope! Sorry Soul Jazz, at this point you've squandered the considerable goodwill I've accorded you for being the label that told me about ESG. It matters to me NOT A WHIT that you found an early NY no wave skronk-jam featuring Jim Jarmusch on vocals. Try as you might to tempt me with yet another Glenn Branca song, I ain't chompin! Nope, still not buying it (although in another, more literal sense, I clearly bought it).
BEST SONG: Clandestine "Radio Rhythm (Dub)"

In conclusion, this:

 
 
 
 

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