I'm going through all my records and trying to throw some away. Unfortunately since I'm a nostalgia-ridden packrat this is proving impossible. Part of the reason for doing this is because every time I move apartments it's fucking miserable.

THE FIRST TIME WOODY EVER MOVED APARTMENTS
a short play

Me: Hey, come help me move!
Friends: Sure, friend!

(3 hours of lugging 2000 records up a 4 story walkup)

Me: Who wants free pizza, courtesy of THIS GUY (pointing thumbs at self)
Friends: You took advantage of us.

So the last time I moved I hired these burly movers from Schleppers (actually the name of the company) and the foreman was this Method Man looking guy with sharpened vampire grills.

I have some retarded records. Is there a reason why I can't throw away my 50 Cent "Wanksta" 12 with the silver embossed cover? Is it a throwback to my comic collecting days? Here are some other thoughts that went through my head:

You are a terrible song and I will never play you out, either in a club or my own home, 12" of I Don't Want To Work (I Just Want To Bang On The Drum All Day) by Bad Manners. (Woody reverently places record in Keep pile)

Hey Bush Tetras LP, you are annoying and I'm pretty sure I don't even like you, aside from like 2 songs. Also, you are a reissue. (Woody reverently places record in Keep pile)

Wow, apparently I have Dreamweaver on vinyl. (Woody reverently etc)

So in the interest of full disclosure, I'm going to list a few records that made me do a doubletake:

5 YES 5 BRITNEY SPEARS 12S


CARDIGANS LOVEFOOL 12

I'm actually kind of proud I own this. Pre-Serato this was like my most prized possession, because 99% of the pressings of this 12 have only the Todd Terry mixes but not the original radio one. It also has a very Frente-esque acoustic version.

................

Moving on

COLIN BLUNSTONE SHE'S NOT THERE 12 (from 1986)

This is a really awful record. Everything genius about the original from 1964 threatens to be undone by the awfulness of this. (file with: Eminem "Just Lose It" and Woody Allen "Curse of the Jade Scorpion")

DANZIG MOTHER 12

I'm perfectly aware that this song sits right next to Q Lazarus in the Overplayed At Hipster Parties playlist, but dude. It's a 12 of "Mother" by Danzig on purple vinyl. As Glenn Danzig himself might say, this is pretty evil.

DEPECHE MODE SPEAK AND SPELL EP

One of my favorite DM tracks "Nodisco" is on here which I don't think was ever on a single, plus this is super-loud and it never hurts to have a record say "promo/exclusive/not for sale" etc on it.