As per my life, I was hanging out in Virgin today buying reissues of albums I already have. Normally I consider this a therapeutic endeavor. However, this time my plans of self-medicating via consumerism were THWARTED when the Virgin Records in-house DJ played a track from the Girl Talk album.

For the past 3 months I have hated Girl Talk on general principle. Andy pretty much hit it on the head with his old rant on the TTL blog. In order to at least have an informed vocabulary with which to hate Girl Talk, I heard about 20 seconds of one of his "incendiary mash-ups" online, made an "ugh" face, and dismissed him entirely as a human being. Many of my friends (Nerdkiller I look in your direction) oftentimes criticize my hatred of things as being ill-informed, or that I hate people who do EXACTLY what I do but just happen to get famous for it.

For the most part, this is pretty accurate. When P & Z-Trip's "Uneasy Listening" came out I was a little salty, and decried them for doing shit like putting an electro beat under "Rhinestone Cowboy" or whatever. And 2 Many DJs was similarly liked/disliked. But ultimately these guys at least mix with records, and sometimes come up with some inspired shit.

The Girl Talk style of mash-up, however, is basically vomit. I thought for the sake of being fair I should at least listen to a little more of his nonsense before fully committing myself to hating it. After all, PITCHFORK! and ALL OF MY FRIENDS! like Girl Talk. So maybe there's something there. WRONG. After another 20 seconds of ruthlessly overly-ironic idiot blends ("OH MY GOD! IT'S A SALT N PEPA ACAPELLA OVER AN UNLIKELY ROCK INSTRUMENTAL FROM THE MID-90S!"), I beat a hasty retreat to the basement of Virgin to escape Girl Talk's deafening, tone-deaf trainwrecks.

Let's get it straight that I have nothing against Girl Talk. That's like hating Lenny Kravitz or Government Mule. But I must confess that I do, in fact, hate Girl Talk fans. Unless you're my friend, in which case I'll just make fun of you for liking it.

I will be the first to agree that I've done some really dumb mash-ups. My Ace of Base/Zhigge blend was not exactly melting speakers and decimating dancefloors. Still, I like to think there is that thin line between Obviously Dumb and Funny, and Obviously Dumb and Bad.

Whatever, sometimes I think that I should just get over it and just put every single song I have into Ableton and cut a mix. Pitchfork will probably give me 5 stars and there will be featured youtube videos of me jumping up and down like a fucking idiot monkey.

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